Another Party? Why Not? The Night is Young!

So, Kerry has proposed three debates between presidential candidates (I'm using the term "presidential" in its most literal sense -- despite actually being President, I have yet to be convinced that Bush has ever acted particularly presidential) and one between Edwards and Cheney. Frankly, I have to think that the latter will be infinitely more interesting than the former. We already sort of know what will happen between Bush and Kerry, right? Kerry will be remarkably articulate, have sound policy arguments and will be roughly as inspiring as one of those Easter Island heads. Bush will be so well-prepared that he will only make up a word or two along the way.

But, oh, the number twos! Spew that venom, Dick! George W. often appears to not really understand what he’s saying, let alone believe it. But Cheney seriously buys into (or perhaps he wrote) the theory that the U.S. should be whupping up on the world, and that the citizens are better off when they know the results, but not the process. His reptilian eyes light up when he gets to take the stage.

And that dreamy John Edwards! He doesn’t have to have anything of substance to say at all. He simply has to talk slowly and make eye contact with that camera. An occasional head tilt, a smarky grin and he will enchant everyone who feels it’s okay for the country not to be consistently cracking heads.
 
Of course, the true shame is that - in a nation that claims to celebrate the free exchange of ideas – no third party candidates will be allowed to participate in the debates. Thanks to the Commission on Presidential Debates, only Republicans and Democrats are allowed to participate in the debates. The CPD is, natch, run by Republicans and Democrats who have no interest in having third party ideas posed. Third parties are nice. When a candidate has nothing to lose, he (or she) doesn’t have the need to be conservative. He can ask whatever questions he thinks aren’t being answered.

Surely the third parties would make things more interesting if not actually affecting anyone’s final vote. And we shouldn’t just open it up to Ralph Nader (spoiler or hero – you be the judge!) but also to the Green Party, the American Party and the Peace & Freedom Party, that last one featuring presidential candidate Leondard Peltier. Peltier would have to appear by satellite, of course, what with his life imprisonment in Leavenworth and all. We could even hear from Personal Choice Party nominee Charles Jay. Of course, his Vice-Presidential candidate might be more interesting – porn star Marilyn Chambers Taylor (her married name). I do wonder what that discussion was like:
"What if we put Marilyn Chambers on the ticket?"
"Wouldn’t that look bad?"
"Well, we’d just make her Vice-President. She wouldn’t have access to the football."
"Oh, Vice-President. Perfect!"

Obviously, we couldn’t realistically have anybody who claimed to be a candidate participate in the debates. But the current standard of 15% in 5 national polls is too high a bar, and change needs to occur. Check out www.debatethis.org for more information.